I didn’t think it would take me this long to get back to blogging.

To be honest, the thought crossed my mind enough times, but I just didn’t feel like it.

Having a stroke was not something that was on my bingo card, as they say, and it certainly was an experience.

As I said before, and I continue to say, I still thank God that the physical and neurological effects of the stroke have been negligible.

Having said that, to anyone who’s suffered debilitating stroke, whose recovery takes long months, if not years, my heart goes out to you; my struggles pale in comparison to what you have to deal with.

The care I’ve received has been stellar and I cannot praise the Stroke Early Supported Discharge Team enough.

The stroke consultant was, likewise, lovely; easy to talk to, didn’t rush me, and took the time to listen to and answer my questions.

Though she did give me a bit of a stern talking-to, reminding me that I’m still in what they class as the ‘recovery period’, and not to refer to myself as completely recovered… yet.

My physical recovery has progressed well, and my right leg and arm are functioning as well as can be expected, though still not as strong as before.

Because of the strain of my left leg compensating for the right in the early days after the stroke, and the ‘wear’ on my back and left hip from the ironing job, it doesn’t take much for back ache to develop, and if I do too much, my left hip hurts.

My daily routine has had to be restructured and, though it’s almost five months since the stroke, sometimes it feels like I’m still trying to get used to the changed routine.

A couple of annoying things:
I can’t spend too long sat at the computer as my left hip and back still don’t like being on a hard chair though cushions help for a bit.

Yes, I know, laptops are an option, but, at my age, I’m too used to desktops and can’t seem to get on with laptops.

The other thing that I still really mind – my handwriting isn’t as it used to be.

I can write and I’m tremendously grateful for that, but it is a little jarring as it’s not that recognisable as my writing.

I know it’s a silly thing to gripe about, but apart from not looking like my handwriting, it requires a little more effort now, so I don’t write as much as I used to because it takes longer.

Anyway, the thing that really caught me by surprise is the mental effect of the stroke, which the consultant referred to as the hidden side – it can’t be seen, so it’s easy to forget about it.

I’ve always been a homebody, but now I can spend days at home and not feel the need to go out at all.

I stopped going to church because I found the crowd after the service overwhelming, but that seems to have sorted itself out as I went for the Good Friday and Easter Sunday services and didn’t have any trouble chatting to people afterwards.

I get frustrated and angry a lot quicker than I used to, and by angry, I mean really angry… and then feel wretched afterwards.

The plans and interests I had pre-stroke, including writing, fell by the wayside, and I still don’t feel any enthusiasm for most of them.

Reading, thank heavens, wasn’t on that list, and I’ve enjoyed reading for longer periods like I used to back in the day; I was aware that my attention was becoming fragmented enough, thanks to the time I was spending online, that I could only read in short bursts, but my attention span is improving.

And in the past month or so, I’ve rediscovered sitting with my imagination and coming up with story ideas.

I’ve plotted one out and I’m quite excited about it, but the test now is, will I be able to write a coherent story? Do I want to? We shall see…

Going forward with blogging, I don’t see me continuing with heavily researched blog posts, not for the next little while anyway, and sadly, that includes the Bible Study series I was doing.

Instead of covering whole books, I may focus on the Psalms and Proverbs, and favourite excerpts, I haven’t decided yet.

There will be the occasional book review; I’ve got a couple of non-fiction ones lined up, but no fiction just yet as the reading I’d been doing was, to no one’s surprise, ‘The Lord of the Rings’.

Because I’d been doing much more of a slow read, to my delight, I came across things I’d either forgotten or hadn’t noticed from my previous reads, so I’m thinking of blogging about those discoveries.

And that’s how things stand at the moment.

Well, that turned out to be longer than I thought, so I shall end this and, hopefully, post a book review next week.

A Tentative Return to Blogging and Thoughts on Stroke Recovery