Visual Aphantasia - What Is It and Does It Affect My Ability to Write?
Close-up of an eye with reflection of buildings - Image by LhcCoutinho on Pixabay
I only recently discovered that my inability to visualise has a name.
It’s called aphantasia or, more specifically, visual aphantasia or image-free imagination.
I literally cannot see images in my mind’s eye.
Growing up, I don’t remember giving it much thought, if any.
In school or while playing, whenever we were required to imagine a specific thing, I just thought I was too lazy to come up with images because all I’d see in my mind’s eye was a black void and nothing else.
Yet, I knew I had a good imagination because I had no difficulty making up stories and contributing to our play – my sister, cousins and I – as children.
It was only when I began doing guided visual meditations in my mid-40s did the total lack of imagery in my mind begin to bother me.
No matter how hard I tried, all I’d see was complete darkness. It never helped reading the comments of those who could successfully ‘see’ everything and then some!
I was convinced I was doing it all wrong.
A couple of weeks ago, while listening to a podcast, the inability to visualise was mentioned followed by the term, ‘aphantasia’.
I immediately looked it up and was amazed at the number of articles I found.
Talking to the boys about it, they were fascinated that I couldn’t ‘see’ images in my mind.
At the end of last year, we met up with a couple of my cousins and their families… The boys wanted to know if I could conjure up any images of the lovely place we’d been in.
I can’t recreate the image in my mind, but I know I’m thinking about it, and I’ll recognise it immediately if I see a photograph of it.
Same with people. I know what they look like, but I can’t pull up a mental image of them.
Having said that, and with what I’ve read (so far) of aphantasia, I know I’m on the mild side of that wide spectrum.
I dream, and I know I do so visually.
While there is only complete darkness in my mind’s eye, I know I have access to my memories and sensory data.
So, for example, I know what the beach looks like on a sunny summer day or a stormy winter one; what galloping horses sound like; what the warmth of the sun and cold, biting wind on my face feels like…
There are those who are completely affected by aphantasia, who, for example, struggle to remember and recognise people or even landmarks, which makes it easy for them to get lost.
This may be an obvious statement, but when I say that having aphantasia doesn’t impact me that much, if at all, that is purely my experience; in no way am I attempting to define anyone else’s aphantasia.
Next step for me was wondering how the inability to visualise affects my reading and writing.
One thing immediately made sense – my aversion to long descriptions of setting, which I’ve always found boring… descriptions which, to most people are wonderfully delightful, I’m sure.
Now I understand why.
Thinking about it now, when reading, I do struggle to visualise what the characters look like, and places too.
Now I know why I choose actors who are familiar to me to ‘be’ those characters.
When it comes to writing and describing people, clothing, places, I find having a visual guide indispensable, whether its images collected in a picture folder on my computer or a board on Pinterest.
These are a couple of examples in the picture folder I’d compiled for ‘The Spellbound Spindle’.
Viking dress and apron costume - Armstreet
I continuously refer to the images as I write the detailed descriptions, which are pedestrian to begin with.
Then, in subsequent drafts, I pare that down until I’m satisfied… or as satisfied as I’m going to get.
Do my descriptions come across as clunky?
To me, they don’t but for others…
All I can do is hope they flow with the narration.
Personally, I’m not bothered by the fact that I have visual aphantasia, and I’m grateful for my vivid imagination.
Though I can’t help but wonder what it’s like to be able to ‘see’ images in your mind.
If you think you might have aphantasia, I found this article – ‘What the Research Says About Aphantasia’ – to be a good introduction. It also has a link to the ‘Vividness of Visual Imagery Questionnaire’, which measures the vividness of your visual imagination.